This has been coming up alot on facebook groups lately and I can see it's abit of a challenge for some couples. Besides picking the venue this is about the 2nd hardest thing to do for alot of couples. I feel if couples had their way they would just invite the people they want there, but we all know this is not the case and never happens. As we all know, parents have a great influence on who we invite and we don't like to say no because we want our parents to be part of our special day and the planning and the other reason is they are usually footing some of the bill.. This counts for me aswell, my Daughter is not married yet but has been with her partner for 3 years, so yes we have discussed it a few times. We don't have a big family but her partner does and I thought she would want to invite all of them, but no she only wants a small wedding. I know we don't see some of our family due to our busy life's and living so far away, but she only wants to invite them to the evening, but my answer to that is but they live so far away, they must come to the daytime aswell. Then her partner has lots of cousins and second cousins who live in Nottingham, do we not invite them to the day, just the evening as they live so close, it 's a nightmare but I suppose we have a few more years to discuss!
Who do you invite to the daytime reception?
Depending on where you are getting married will reflect on how many guests you can invite. For a Registry Office ceremony that is very much dictated by how many it can seat and that's your number, usually they are smaller then any Church or Venue. Most churches and venues can take quite a few more, even going past a hundred, this is not always great, as parents and family then think they can just invite everyone!
Most average weddings have a guest list of between 50-100 for the daytime reception, but this does depend on the budget as remember all the guests will want to be fed and watered.
Which family members do you invite?
If parents are divorced and have new partners do you invite them to the day and evening?
This is a tricky one, do the parents get on is the biggest thing to consider, if so and you are happy with your parents new partners then why not, if not this can be difficult but there is two things you could do, to keep your parents happy invite their partners or if you are not sure and would just prefer your parents there, invite their partners to the evening reception (I would only go down this route as a last result if it was me, as you could open up a whole new can of worms, especially if your parents think you may not like their partners.)
This is a tricky one aswell, because you have gained a whole new family and if both parents have re-married then that's two new families and all I can say to that is good luck!
Siblings and their partners and of course lets not forget their children, but this can sometimes work in your favour, a brother may be a best man, your sisters may be bridesmaids and their children could be users or flower girls.
Direct Uncles & Auntie's
First Cousins and their partners and children.
Then depending on your numbers so far and how much budget you have left you then can invite more family, even if you don't see them very often or do you invite friends who you socialize with and spend time with. This is a difficult one, this is where families seem to mention that someone has not been invited and they think that they should of been. Do you invite just to keep the peace or stick to your guns and invite who you want. The thing is once you do it for one, it's amazing how someone else will then complain that another family member should be invited.
Which friends and work colleagues do you invite?
The friends I would invite is the ones that I keep in touch with, not always seeing them, but call on a regular basis or facebook quite often or friends that I meet up with and socialize with, the friend you want to see but live to far away!
Work Colleagues I would invite for the evening.
All I would say is if someone is travelling from afar I would invite for the whole day and evening, I would never just expect them to just come to the evening reception.
Remember to try and stay within your budget which you have put aside for food and drink for the day and evening.
Well hope this helps and good luck.
P.S. Don't forget some will be on holiday, some will be busy and have prior arrangements which they can not get out of!
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